Divorce

Hey everyone. This is my last week of blogs and I’m sure that you are just as excited and ready for that to be the last one as I am. In my class this week, we talked about a subject that I hate talking about because it absolutely breaks my heart and it is something that I am very passionate about.

I don’t know if any of you have read this before, but there is an article by Jeffrey Hill entitled “Family Crucibles” and it is such an amazing article and I would suggest all of you reading it. In this article, he gives lots of ways to deal with a family crucible. What is a family crucible? Well, as defined by google, a crucible is, “a situation of severe trial, or in which different elements interact, leading to the creation of something new”.

I don’t know about you, but for me, this sounds like a pretty big deal. I really like to have consistency and stableness in my life, so when something all of a sudden changes, I get stressed and it takes me a while to adjust. There can be many situations like this when you start a family and there can be many crucibles that will come your way. However, when situations arise and your crucible comes, you can react one of two ways: You can take this challenge to build your family up and become stronger, or you can fall apart and lose everything. The choice is yours.

I know this makes it sound like a really easy choice to make, but we all know that in the moment, it is a lot more difficult to see how this will help you in your life. Jeffrey gives 3 things that can help us when a crucible comes.

1. Life is hard, but you can do hard things: We are so strong and we are capable of overcoming any challenge that may come our way. I love the quote that says, “God won’t give you any challenge you can’t handle.” I think that is so true. If we can know in our hearts that all things are possible with the help of God and others, then we can make it through hard times, because we can do hard things.
2. Make the best of it: Family life will never be how you expected it to be in your mind. So instead of wallowing in self-pity and being sad because your life didn’t turn out how you imagined it, take heart. You are one of many in this category. Make the most of the moments that you are in right now.
3. T.T.T.= Things Take Time: Being in a family is all about taking a journey and seeing where you end up. Understand that in order to get where you are wanting to be, things take time. I would also like to add the word effort. Things take time and effort.

It’s amazing to think of all of the relationships that have ended in divorce, that could have been something beautiful, if only they would have applied some of these principles. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. Nobody says that their marriage is perfect and if they did, they are lying. EVERYONE has problems in their marriage, but it is how you choose to overcome them and grow from them.

I understand that there are situations where divorce is necessary. If you are one of those who it was a bad situation and you needed out, don’t worry, you are excused from this conversation. 😉 E. Jeffrey Hill gives 10 ways to improve your family resiliency when times of trouble occur and I would like to list them here. Do with them what you will!

1. Be Prepared
2. Involve Family Members (when appropriate)
3. Seek Outside Sources and Support
4. Develop a Long -Term, Growth-Oriented Perspective
5. Take Positive Action, Do What You Can
6. Find Comfort in Every Day Family Life
7. Seek Out Soul-Soothing Environments
8. Take Care of Yourself and Your Family
9. Trust in a Higher Power
10. Endure to the End

Take heart everyone. I know that divorce sometimes may seem like the easy and even popular option, but I would encourage you to look at these options of how you can build resiliency in your family first, before you turn to anything else. Have a great week!